Just read The Difference In Being Left, And Leaving The One You Love. I’ve seen some of the comments and one of it says….
“Being left is much worse. For one, you don’t have time to get used to the idea. The one leaving is prepared to leave. They’ve thought it out. They made a choice. When you are left, it is usually sudden and without a lot of warning. You didn’t know it was coming. You are ready and you have no control in the matter. You were rejected. Rejection is the #1 fear for people… even higher than the fear of death in some surveys. When are you left (rejected) it makes you question your self worth, your self esteem can plummet, it can make you not trust in future relationships because you have fear of abandonment. While I’d say both can hurt… being left is way harder on a person.”
It felt like there was a sledge hammer in my chest pounding back and forth. I could hear and feel every single beat which made me impossible to relax and rest.
Then I backread the lines again….
…When you’re left by the one you love, your hurt manifests itself in different ways. Sometimes the hurt comes out as anger, as spiteful words you use to hurt them back. Sometimes the hurt doesn’t come out at all, and lives in deep denial. Sometimes the hurt numbs you to anything else so that hurt is the only feeling.
…When you’re the one leaving, hurt causes a different type of pain. You don’t feel the force of the initial impact, but you see and feel the bruises that form and remain long after. You feel like the hurt you’re feeling is unfair to be felt, but you’re hurting because of the hurt you caused in someone else.
Suddenly, a lot of unspoken words, questions, and pent up emotions came up. Questions like: What was he/she really feeling at that time? Why couldn’t things be worked out? Avoidance brought us nowhere in the long-term. I tried to rationalize them away, but I know they will remain there, yearning to be answered.
My questions are not yet even answered. No one has ever left. “There is no never. There are just long periods of not yet”.
I realized one of the most important things in life is to first be true to ourselves and if I am to choose, I wish to be the one being left. Just so you know.