You dream of having a serious, long-term (the idea of forever), secured and near to perfect relationship. A relationship which is kinda stable when it comes to a lot of aspects: emotionally; spiritually; physically; socially and the most important part, financially stable. You believe if one of the aspects is missing, relationship will fail. You dream of having that kind of relationship yet you decide not to commit due to the probability of failing.
I understand the idea of confusion and the concept of not yet being ready to get into a relationship but before you get into that dilemma, something has happened; it started with that feeling, an emotional attraction that have travelled deep within your skin to your heart and the sensation has registered permanently into your human brain controlling your central nervous system.
There’s a little feeling that was implanted deep within you. It struck you severely like lightning then baffled you extremely like thunder until it frozen out your heart, unable for it to resist. That feeling that you were unable to control and tried to just ignore until you cared. The innocent feeling that was nurtured until someone’s appreciation made it grow. That feeling now calls for attention and keeps on haunting you but the other part of your mind says you cannot commit. You would ask yourself if you’re really ready when it comes to having a long time, infinite relationship with someone you like until you would end up answering yourself, “I doubt.” You would assess yourself and you would say, “I am emotionally maturing;spiritually molding; physically developing; socially better; and financially struggling.”
Then you stop, believing in due time, you’ll be ready enough.
I also understand the concept of friendship and trying so hard not to lose the friendship that has been tender cared for years, that’s why you chose just to be a friend and not take the risk.
You are in the dilemma of “friendship is only for friendship;no more, no less” thing, yet, there is a strange feeling within you beating for a friend you truly and specially love. You’re sure that this special friend is different from any other friends you trust with your stupid love stories; incomparable with a friend you call and text anytime you want just to tell him/her how your life is going bad; exactly not the same with a friend you chat about your favorite basketball or football player and how the game went up and your favorite player behaved so bad. You tend to ignore the feeling that keeps on haunting you apprehensive of the circumstance that you’ll be left behind.
Then you stop, accepting being friends and inspired is better than being in a relationship with complaints and conflicting grounds.
I also understand your notion for failure. You fear rejection and you are alarmed of the probability of not being loved back. You’re afraid of the concept of friendship and the idea that your love likes someone else and you detach yourself from it.
You have a special someone who is truly different from a friend who makes you laugh. You have one true love that is incomparable with just a mere friendly love. Your love is unconditional and it never dies. It is forgiving and unselfish. It does not know color, age, gender, status, religion and even distance. It is unconditional in a sense that you keep on loving the other person despite of the fact that everything seems so hard. But you decide to stop because you believe that your one true love has no capability of loving you back and is in a mutual relationship with someone he/she likes.
Then you stop accepting the reality that your love one’s happiness is more important than what you feel inside.
I won’t end this letter without a sensible advice. If you feel being cared, care even more. Likewise with being loved, love even more. Love takes two to tango and the more you put effort on it, it makes life sweeter and inspiring even more.
Live a genuinely happy and exciting life.
God bless our days ahead. 😇😉✌
Our first encounter was not that so special.
Simple greetings; Smiling faces; Bro-fist; Little introduction about ourselves, and that was it. You said you were also a 2nd semester enrollee. You were wearing those white polo shirt which made me thought you were a networking man. You’ve offered your hands for handshake which I rejected saying “No, sorry, my hands are sweaty” which made you laughed like there’s no tomorrow. We’ve had bro-fist and there, I found my study buddy man.
I asked you why you entered in law school. You said It was your long time dream and there, our friendship started. I had a trust issue and never trusted anyone that’s why I never told you the reason why I entered law school. I never told you that I intended to move on from a 6 year no label, hopeless, assuming, one sided love relationship in the past. The reason why I was always absent in our evening subject is because I was in the process of healing. You never asked the reason of my absence and never intended to ask about my love life and personal life. You’ d been a positive person whose into law group discussions and study groups only. Every time you’re around, I almost forgot I was moving on. I almost forgot the reason why I entered law school and I started to be serious like you though law school was just a short time joke for me. I felt like I had a brother to lean on and started to let go. I started going to class and studied like you.
Until I found myself slightly moving on.
I stopped crying every time I am alone. I stopped stalking my past’s Facebook profile and even stopped checking my messenger just to see if my past was online minutes or hours ago. I felt like I went back to my high school days wherein I was really competitive. Wounds started to get healed because group discussions, weird schoolmates and law school ate most of time. Cuts started to get cured. I once even thought of a future being a real lawyer someday which could be a big joke. lol.
But you left.
I have seen your post in our group chat that you have already transferred to another school.
I coudn’t breath. My chest started to pump like hell. I was gasping for air. Woooooh Dude. Then I grabbed a cup of coffee. Breathed in then out.
I was okay.
Thank you for helping me slightly moved on. Thank you for showing me a factual basis that I don’t have to cry for the rest of my life just because of my past who couldn’t love me back. I was perfectly fine before you left.
Thank you for the memories.
For now, I am taking a good rest and I intend not to really quit. I am determined to see you in Moot Court once we meet again and i am hoping you’ll share reviewers whenever I get back to law school.
Good luck and God bless. 😊
She is optimistic and seemingly fearless.
She approaches all situations head-on and I can say.. sensitive!
She’s gets hurt easily though extremely confident.
She’s often misunderstood and keeps secrets to herself.
Mga bata pa kami noon, uhugin pa’t musmos.
Siya yung nabagrang sa buli at puro sugat sa binti at tuhod.
Palihim na humingi saken ng bulak tapos nangangatal sa takot.
Pero never na umiyak, ewan ko, sobrang tapang ng loob.
A combination of a ferocious lion in the outside and a marshmallow with a real soft side.
Ilang beses mang madapa, babangon pa rin saka lalakad.
I could say, no one can beat the squad that we have.
You are loved purely and unconditionally by US.
So sa birthday mo, bahala na si Batman.
One important thing that I can say, cast all your burdens to HIM, all the time.
Regrets, failures, pain, shortcomings…alam mo na kung sino tatawagin dyan,
Today is your birthday, ayabyu, muah muah, tsup tsup, God bless you always bidayan.😙😙😙
“Sometimes the door closes on a relationship, not because we failed but because something bigger than us says this no longer fits our life. So, lock the door, shed a tear, turn around and look for the new door that’s opened. It’s a sign that you’re no longer that person you were, it’s time to change into who you are. It’s going to be okay.”
― Lee Goff
Bumulaklak muli ang mga rosas, araw sa langit ay sumikat, nagdiwang ang pusong matagal na naghintay.
Ang bahagyang komunikasyon ay nagpaalab sa damdaming nanlamig at ilang taong pawang patay.
Awit at musika’y tumugtog nang walang humpay, bukang liwayway ay nakangiting sumilay.
Masayahing puso’y nangarap sa makulay na hinaharap at payapang buhay.
Nadama ang mahika ng pagibig na hindi nababasa sa mga libro.
Naglaro ang tadhana at damdamin ang ginawang pamato.
Kumapit sa salitang pagasa at nilinlang ng mapaglarong damdamin ang kaisipan hanggang nalito.
Nakumbinsing kapitan ang katiting na pagasa kahit alam na dehado.
Naghintay pa rin bagaman malakas ang tinig na nagsasabing walang aasahan.
Muling binuksan ang pahina ng kwentong malabo ang nakaukit na larawan.
Kwentong nakabinbin at naghihintay na mabigyan ng makulay na katapusan.
Hinayaan ang damdaming tangayin ng naguumapaw na pag-asa.
Nagtapat na muli at naghintay ng isasagot ng imahe sa kabilang linya.
Nagbakasaling sasaluhin sa…
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He hid himself inside that black sedan mirage. He could hear the groom said “I do.” He was hoping that for the last time, everything will change; Everything will go back to normal, hoping that she will choose him. He’ s hoping that they would go back to their childhood years and the bride would say “No.”; That the bride will back out but it didn’t happen. The bride at last said “Yes” and the entire church roared with applause and laughter. I could see those tears running from his swollen reddish eyes. He fled. I pity him. He was devastated.
I could hear someone whisper silently.
“Wala silang closure. Hindi nga nag-usap tapos umuwi yung babae may iba na. Eh mga bata pa’y magkasama na yang mga yan eh, pumunta nga lang ng abroad yung babae kaso nabuntis.”
Ouch! Reality slapped me brutally in the face. Super unhappy ending. Marami nga pala ang tanga at hopeless na hindi alam ang tamang closure. Tsk tsk.
Totoo talaga ang pagiging hopeless. Yun ang sakit ng magmahal. Sobra. Where in the hell that he did not clarify if she still has feelings for him. Me ganun talaga? Hindi nagusap? Meron namang chat, messenger or sa text? As in walang closure? Sus! Ansakit sa bangs. Pagibig nga talaga. He is a victim of hopeless reality and that was harsh. He’d waited years for her but he waited for nothing. Nakakaawa. Sayang yung love story. Walang happy ending. Nasabi ko tuloy. Don’t kill yourself yet. May bukas pa.
To that man I’ve seen standing behind that black sedan mirage:
*Sir, I might have been there but I can’t pamper you. Sana nalaman mo agad yung tamang concept ng communication. Sa salitang pagmamahal, talo ang assuming at palaasa. Minsan magtanong ka rin para clear. Anyway, congrats. At least for the last time, you showed your love for her.Though it did not work, I salute you for being there hoping and praying that her wedding will fail. You have no fault loving her but you failed loving yourself. You were drowned assuming that everything will work out. Real miscommunication. Real assumption.
Anyway, its not yet late. There’s still time. As far as I know, 36 years old ka pa lang? You still have a lot of time. Yung Tito ko, nakita yung forever niya at the age of 50. You still have 14 years. You don’t have to cry for someone who doesn’t love you back. You should have asked for a closure earlier. You’ll see someone deserving for your love (sabi nga nung first love ko). You’ll see someone who will be there willing to catch you.
You said she means a lot to you. You begged na wag na niyang ituloy ang kasal coz something out there you believe that it can be worked out and she has feelings for you. You did nothing wrong. *Nagmahal ka lang.
Canyon Cove, Nasugbu, Batangas
By taking the time to stop and appreciate who you are and what you’ve achieved – and perhaps learned through a few mistakes, stumbles and losses – you actually can enhance everything about you. Self-acknowledgment and appreciation are what give you the insights and awareness to move forward toward higher goals and accomplishments. ——Jack Canfield
Make it a habit to tell people thank you. To express your appreciation, sincerely and without the expectation of anything in return. Truly appreciate those around you, and you’ll soon find many others around you. Truly appreciate life, and you’ll find that you have more of it.
God bless our days ahead!😊😄
- We reach to a point in life when we are ready for change and a whole bunch of information that will help unlock our self improvement power.
I have to admit that after somewhat life-changing and kinda painful experience with my first love, I had this difficulty moving on. I had to keep my WordPress account private, cut contacts and break my postpaid mobile sim card. That’s to minimize contact with the person who caused me a lot of happiness and pain. But of course, I have no one to blame but myself for just falling in love. Now I choose just to be alone. How could someone thought of not being worth it for my love? I don’t know. It might be that the other person doesn’t just want me the way that I am. I thought there’s hope though there’s really none. I don’t know. I should have known anyway. And this is all I know. ☺ I stopped asking questions ‘coz I found it hard to be answered with a question also. I need an answer and it seemed, there is no way for me to get any answer. I stopped. I moved on and let go. I tried to overthink more and it led me to a world of endless imagination and fantasy then reality hit me in the face and I woke up. To tell you honestly, being in love then trying to fall out of love with your first love is kinda hard. You’ll still hope, try to check if there would be second chances after rejection and think of possibilities and unending what ifs. I quit asking for what ifs. I ended up believing we are really not on the same page.
Being a Technical Support /Sales Specialist and law student at the same time is really challenging. I have to cut my social media hours and hours of calling to minutes every time I call my mom. I need to read more and spend most of my time doing some sort of researches and yep, I have found my second love- which is law school.
I do not know yet where this road will take me but I will not know unless I take it. There are no guarantees. For now, all I can say is I am enjoying my life and kinda excited about the path that I am taking.
Thanks be to God!